I still remember trying to find the love of my life. Often times I would fail. I would get rejected, and it would be a miracle if it even got to that point because I was very insecure and couldn’t even start a conversation with my crush. It was really rough and it put me on my self-development journey. It took two years for me to get over my insecurities and to build my self-confidence. And after those two years, I finally met her, quite effortlessly too. We became friends and after four months we had developed feelings for each other. Since then we’ve been together for one and a half years. Even though the pandemic and long-distance made it harder, our relationship is just as passionate and vibrant. Since I’ve been through all of that, I want to make it easier for you to attract the love of your life and to make sure the honeymoon phase never ends with these tips!
Self-growth
The #1 thing you can do to attract the love of your life is to improve on yourself. We often think that we want the right person or “the one”, but have we ever considered if we are the right person for them or “the one” for them? If you believe that you deserve the best partner you could get, then you need to make sure that you are the best partner that they can get as well. Love is about giving, not taking. So, look at your life and at yourself and ask yourself “What can I do to improve myself and my life?” “What can I do to make myself a more attractive partner?”. And if you go in with this abundance mindset of giving, as opposed to a scarcity mindset of taking, I promise you attracting “the one” will be much easier. When you are so focused on growing and improving yourself you will tend to forget trying to find a partner, it will be effortless and you will naturally be attractive to many people.
Affirmations
You need to make use of affirmations, not only to attract your partner but also to improve on yourself. This goes back to the previous topic of self-growth. What does a person want in a partner? They want someone confident, abundant, and physically attractive. So, how do we affirm ourselves? There are multiple techniques and I’ll show you the ones that I’ve used and helped change my life.
* Identity Shifting – We’re all used to the “I can meet the love of my life” or “I make a million dollars annually” style of affirmations. Identity shifting is a more advanced technique. In the words of Michael Beckwith: “You don’t attract what you think, you attract who you are”. And who you are in this context are your beliefs. So, you need to get to the core and change your beliefs. In this practice, it’s advised to be vague as opposed to being specific. So, for example instead of “I can meet the love of my life,” you will now say “I’m such a magnet for love and abundance.” or “I’m such a confident and charismatic person.”. This is much more effective in reprogramming your subconscious mind.
* The “Why?” method – Our negative self-talk can be quite stubborn. Despite our affirmations, it will find a way to sabotage and question them, as a result making them much less effective because it gets you in the wrong vibration. Worry not, because I have the solution. It’s called the “Why?” method. So, now you will be saying “Why can I meet the love of my life?” and now let’s make it even more effective by combining it with identity shifting and you get: “Why am I such a magnet for love and abundance?” see what I’m getting at? This is effective because when you form it as a question you’re negative self-talk won’t try to sabotage it. It’s important that you say this in a grateful tone, say it as if you already are or have it.
* Third Person – “I’ am” is powerful. In spiritual teachings, particularly Buddhism and Hinduism, it’s the highest. It is free and beyond all things, your eternal being. If we try to put it in a box then we are limiting ourselves. When you say “Why am I such a magnet for love and abundance?” you’re limiting the “I’ am” consequently limiting yourself. How do we avoid this? Through affirming in the third person. For example: “Why is Sarah such a magnet for love and abundance?” or “Why is Michael such a great athlete?”. By using our names or in this case the third person, we avoid limiting ourselves and our potential.
* Continuity – It’s important that our affirmations aren’t just for the short term. When you say “Why is Lisa such a healthy and fit person” it’s good, but for how long? Is Lisa only a healthy and fit person in the summer so that she can show off her beach body? Is Lisa only a healthy and fit person so that she can impress someone? It’s important that when you improve yourself that you’re not only doing it for someone else but primarily for yourself, otherwise it won’t be a strong enough reason to last in the long-term and when we are improving ourselves it should always be for the long-term. And here comes the subject of continuity. Instead of saying “Why is Lisa such a healthy and fit person?” you’ll now say “Why is Lisa always such a healthy and fit person?” or “Why is Clark always such a great lover?”. Keyword: Always.
Make sure to write your affirmations down in a journal on a daily basis. Even better if you can vocalize the affirmations in a private setting where no one else might hear you since you might find it awkward.
Polarities
Whether you are heterosexual or a member of the LGBTQ+ community it stands that we all have a masculine and a feminine pole. I’m now going to explain the differences between these poles and how an understanding of them can help you whether you are heterosexual or a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
* The masculine pole – Heterosexual males will have their core as the masculine pole. The masculine pole is all about mission, purpose, and achievement. When this is your core then it is most important that you have a life purpose or a mission. If you can figure out what your purpose in life is or your mission then you should make this your #1 priority and you will naturally attract a feminine woman.
* The feminine pole – Heterosexual females will have their core as the feminine pole. The feminine pole is all about surrender, love, and caring. When this is your core then it is most important that you learn how to surrender to the universe. You must learn to relax in your heart and to trust that you are safe. If you can do this then you will naturally attract a masculine man.
* Uniqueness – Not every man is going to be masculine and not every woman will be feminine. We’re all a mixed bag of masculine and feminine energy. I’m more of a feminine man and my woman is more of a masculine woman, but having said that the masculine pole remains my core. I have a mission and a life purpose that I work on every day. Despite being more on the masculine side, the feminine pole remains my woman’s core. She is relaxed in her heart, surrendered to the universe and her expressions are free and unlimited.
* LGBTQ+ – The same thing applies to members of the LGBTQ+ community. It’s not about whether or not you were born with male or female genitalia. It’s what you feel inside. It’s about identifying whether you are more of a masculine or feminine person. If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community then ask yourself if, at heart, you have a masculine core or a feminine core. Are you the type to have a mission and a purpose or the type to simply surrender to the universe and relax in your heart or maybe both! It’s not about what’s right or wrong. It’s about what personally works for you.
Maintaining your relationship
Attracting “the one” is the easy part, but maintaining a relationship will have its seasonal ups and downs. When the pandemic hit and we were quarantined, my relationship with my woman definitely took a hit, to the point where we almost broke up. But, we remained together because we understood that we loved each other and that this was an obstacle in our relationship that we needed to pass. It was rough but through communication and our love for each other the storms eventually passed and our relationship returned to the usual passion and intimacy that we enjoyed before the pandemic hit. So, you must understand that not everything will always be perfect, that there might be obstacles that will be in the way of your relationship. But, if you can get through the storms together and grow as a person, then you’re relationship with each other will only grow stronger and the intimacy even deeper.
Leave a Reply